I used to be better with commitment or at least with commiting myself to things, obligatory or otherwise. Maybe it's my age, a la comfort in my selfish skin or my realization that performing to the standard of others has become less and less rewarding.
Last time I was here (longer ago than I anticipated) I talked about my guitar. Since then, I started lessons to learn. All was going well albeit lessons are a tad on the pricey side. After a month of weekly meets, I already pressed pause. It only took a month for the meetings to irritate me and start feeling like an obligation. This isn't a good feeling when you truly want to value a new skill, as once the association becomes negative, it becomes difficult to keep on. I am a punctual person and every week I was made to wait 15 minutes for my 3o min appointment, and often it was cut short because we were then behind schedule. The room was hot and cramped and it didn't foster a solid learning environment for me. So for now, I give up on the lessons and plan to take a more entreprenurial approach. Also, it won't hurt to save 80 bucks a month for things like a house and/or a fat tax bill to the IRS....sigh.
One thing I am ready for (which took awhile after moving back to WI) is to make a new home with a solid floor plan and decorative details in the offing, including a wooded land-lot with a conservatory for hikes. This is going to be big, not so much in stature, but in purpose, with the intention to last into the indefinite future. Consequently, this commitment extends a parallel to my job and life here in NE WI. For now I'll call it home.
As for my other commitments, maybe you weren't so important afterall. Or maybe my time is worth more these days.
